Clearly My Bi-Polar Period
December 8, 2009 at 12:34 pm (divorce) (alone, depression, holidays, parties, social events)
I’m clearly going through a bipolar period right now. Last night I got together with friends and had a great time, but came home and saw the messy house and the dishes and the lack of Christmas decor and am now going through a “you suck” period.
I can’t seem to get motivated to do much around the house or for the holidays, honestly. It’s too depressing. I haven’t even listened to any Christmas music yet, and I LOVE Christmas music. I know the solution to this is to somehow find the time to do anything except load the dishwasher. The house needs a good, thorough clean, and I know that would make me feel oodles better, but I just can’t seem to muster up the energy to do it.
On the other hand, I CAN apparently muster up the energy to organize lots of social events with friends, going out at night, and basically acting like someone in her 20s rather than someone in her 40s. Maybe it has to do with an unwillingness to be alone, but I literally have an engagement for every night this week save one–and I was even attempting to schedule something for that day.
I think I’m just not wanting to be in the house alone. But I also think I absolutely need to be in the house alone. So I’m going to attempt to NOT schedule the one night I have free at this point. Maybe I’ll just sit there, but maybe I’ll actually get some cleaning done, so I can finally decorate for the holidays.
